For Life

There are friendships that stand the test of time. I have four special friends that I’ve held close to me since high school. I value them dearly because they’ve been happy for me through all my simple joys and cried with me through my struggles. I find that women spend wasted time on petty competition and jealousy. Some women spend days on end gossiping and putting other people down. I have been blessed with four of the most supportive friends. It is a gift to have friends who will hold your hand and pick you up when you’ve fallen flat on your face. I consider them my pillars of strength because they hold it together so that I can mourn my pain. It’s a challenge to find people who will be there for you. It’s even harder to find friends who will genuinely celebrate your success and be proud of your accomplishments.

Isn’t it funny how life sometimes brings you geographically far away to those you care for most? I find that the separation and our different life circumstances don’t weigh in on how close we were then and how close we still are now. That is the true test of friendship. You can be far way, living a completely different life from your friends and yet when you speak to each other, it feels like you just spent a couple minutes apart.

I started my life way earlier than them. I got married and had kids earlier than them. They actually call me “Teen Mom”. Now that most of them are married and starting to have kids, I’m so EXCITED. I feel honored to be able to impart a little bit of wisdom about marriage and parenting to them. I feel relieved that FINALLY we now have more in common.

Whenever I think about my soul mates, I feel GRATEFUL. I’m looking forward to many many years of fun. I feel secure that the next time I need them they’ll just be there. Lastly I have faith that no amount of evil can tear these friendships down. It’s easy to make friends. It’s hard to make friends FOR LIFE.

ALL MY GOOD INTENTIONS

There is nothing like the birth of your first-born child. Nothing prepares you for the overwhelming love you feel when you hold the one true thing you can call yours. Every little anecdote, every step, every heartache is a new adventure you take together. I was blessed with the perfect baby. He was the kind of baby who hardly cried, slept through the night and had the happiest disposition. The learning experience of being a first time mom was magical. He was my world.

As he grew older I felt that raising him was a big experiment. No amount of reading prepares you for the enormous task of raising a child. I struggled and still do today in making decisions that affect him now and the future. I find that I have to create a balance between keeping him on the right track and allowing him to enjoy life. I end up trusting my gut because my love for him always points me to the right direction.

I’ve been blessed with such a good kid. Javy is the kind of person who puts others over himself, appreciates everything given to him and tries his best not to abuse his blessings. He is the MOST obedient child.  He helps me take care of his siblings and is the first to notice when I’m feeling down. I can’t seem to put in words the magnitude of his kindness so I won’t even try. The bottom line is I am proud to be his mom. When I look at him I wonder….What did I do to deserve such a perfect child?

In the midst of raising our children, we have to consider the inevitable future. There will be a time when we have to let go of our kids and allow them to spread their wings and be their own person. When that time comes we have to be prepared because our children were not given to us so we can hold on to them. They were given to us because we need to guide them to become god fearing and law abiding people. At the end of the day, I only have one wish. I want him to be happy. As much as I want to keep him at home forever I have to accept that one day he will leave so he can start his own life. When he does I’ll be happy because as he walks away he will take with him ALL MY GOOD INTENTIONS. 

NOT SO ORDINARY

An ordinary day for me entails work, family, and yoga. A normal day starts early and ends late. I find myself caught up in making sure everybody’s needs are met. I have no complaints. I love my life. However, I realize that there is something to be said about floating through life by doing the same routine. In the chaos of everyday life, it is possible to lose your passion and take things for granted. It is possible that the reason why people feel negative about life is because they’ve forgotten to take note of the positive.

As I pondered on this, I remembered one day in particular. It was one of those over scheduled Saturdays. I was trying to get the kids fed and bathed in time for our whole day of events. Stress is an understatement when getting three kids ready without help. I choose not to have the maids help because I believe in caring for my kids myself. It’s stressful not because I’m doing it alone but because during the whole thing, the kids are either arguing with each other or complaining to me about something. I was hurriedly patting my son Paco dry while barking commands to my eldest son Javy, “Get dressed! Make it fast!” when Paco looked up and said “ I love you Mommy”. There was something about the way he said it so sweet and so pure that made me stop and say “I love you too Paco”. There was a twinkle in his eye and then he gave me the biggest most genuine smile. My heart melted.

I don’t know if he noticed that I barely had time to feed myself or use the bathroom. I don’t know if he noticed I was thinking of ten other things I needed to do while I was giving him a bath. I know for sure he noticed something because he felt the need to tell me with four simple words, “I love you Mommy”, that everything would be okay.

From the eyes of a five-year old boy, things are simple. He didn’t know what was going on in my head. All he saw and heard was hostility and impatience. It is a gift to know that even when I’m not on my best behavior he loves me unconditionally. That even though there are days when I’m lost in the shuffle of everything I have to do, there is a little boy who thinks I’m the greatest person in the world. It’s little things like this that make everyday chores become less obligatory and more enjoyable. I need to make an effort to stop and take the moment in because I am blessed with a son who made an ordinary day….NOT SO ORDINARY.

What Yoga has given me

I never thought that Yoga was for me. The idea of it was initially boring and I never took the time to look into it more. After giving birth to my daughter, I decided I needed some form of exercise that wasn't so high impact because I was still breastfeeding. A new Bikram studio was opening nearby and along with two friends, I gave it a shot.

I'm not exactly new to working out because I used to attend spin class, gym, boxing, pilates, kick boxing, and barre 3. The cycle would be: try the work out, love it, go as often as I could for a long period of time, get sick of it, quit. I needed a new type of work out all the time because the goal was to tone up or lose weight. The difference between what the other work outs I've done and Yoga is the new found respect for long term health.

Bikram Yoga is HARD to say the least. I struggled through most of my first few classes. I felt challenged to do better and I willed myself to make it happen. Yoga became the "me" time. I felt no guilt when I left my kids at home to go practice yoga. After the first month, I noticed my body was changing. I was no longer a slave to food. I wasn't feeling hungry all the time and when I did feel the hunger, I craved for something healthy. Why? Because every time I stuffed my face with junk food I paid for it at Yoga. If I ate fried, salty and oily food the day before, I was sure to feel terrible during my practice. I felt tortured and I was traumatized. I realized I needed to feed my body with healthy food. The first step? I gave up eating beef, pork and chicken. I won't go into all the reasons why I decided to do this. The bottom line is, if I can live longer and healthier without it, I can give it up. Yes I still allow myself to eat meat once in a while (especially if I cook it) but I don't crave it anymore and I certainly don't feel deprived without it.

Aside from eating better, Yoga helped me sleep better. My sleep is deep and when I wake up I feel well rested. Sleep is a very important factor in determining how my mood will be and how much I get to accomplish.

There is a moment during my practice where I feel totally relaxed and absolutely certain that there is no where else I want to be at that moment but where I am. It is in that moment where the clarity of what I want for myself, my friends, and my family is felt.....HAPPINESS. Yoga brings me happiness. Life may never be perfect but I find comfort in knowing that there is a place in the quiet of my soul that I can escape to and find absolute peace.