Without You

Most women dread their Mother in law. It seems there’s a control issue between mother in law and wife. Then there are more fortunate women who are blessed with an immaculate relationship with their in laws. I started my life early. While all the girls my age were attending prom, I was busy planning my wedding. I want to safely say that my initial relationship with Mom was shaky. Looking back, I realize now that my immaturity played a gigantic role into how things played out.

As time passed, I grew up, matured a little, and things slowly changed. I learned that when you open your heart and allow people in, your life becomes so much better. Someone once told me that I needed to make my mother in law my ally. I was told that if I had my mother in law on my side, we could make miracles happen. I think we did just that.

I allowed myself to see the beauty of Mom. I allowed myself to see the kindness and generosity that she exudes. I saw a strong woman who surpassed a very colorful life. I saw a woman who found a balance between helping others and taking care of herself. I saw a woman who drops everything when you call for help and doesn’t expect anything in return. I saw a woman who makes the energy of a filled room happy because she knows how to laugh at herself. I saw a woman who was always willing to learn new things to improve life. Lastly, I saw a mother who loves her kids more than herself.

Let’s make one thing clear. She never claimed to be perfect. Nor did she ever claim to be a saint. She is flawed like all of us but is not afraid to accept her mistakes and apologize when needed. She is not a doormat, a wallflower nor a push over. She is without a doubt a strong woman.

I’ll never forget my first business venture. She and I were talking in her walk-in closet and she asked me “What would you like to do?” I told her that I wanted to start my own business. I was eighteen years old. I explained my concept briefly and without second guessing me she wrote me a check for P30,000. A few months later, I was ready with my products and I joined my very first bazaar. Not only did she lend me all the staff I needed to set-up and man my booth but she stayed with me for two days helping me sell my products. She practically harassed all her friends who passed by to buy from me. I couldn’t believe it then and I can’t believe it now how supportive she was of my endeavor. I’m sure she knew I wasn’t going to be a millionaire from that one bazaar but she embraced my passion because it meant a lot to me.

I can think of a hundred other heart-warming stories between my mother in law and I but I choose to keep it private between us. This blog was especially hard for me to write because I want it to be interpreted for what it is… an expression of gratitude for the woman who has made my life special. Miscommunication and differences in opinion will still happen in the future but I’m confident that our bond will keep us intact. Mom, I am honored to be your daughter in law. I can’t imagine life WITHOUT YOU.